About the Editor Kim Wrathall is a Kindergarten Teacher from the Calgary Area working in a High Needs school for 16 years. She has a Masters in Educational Research-Interdisciplinary Studies with her final paper focusing on Mindful Practice in K-3 Classrooms.
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We Begin Again
Raise your hand if you started your year with one of these sentiments:
So, I am going to pause for a moment here and I want you to think about how your year started and where you are at now. Some may say I have found great ways to manage, step back and work through the year at a pace that works for me. This is great news. I have a feeling though that there are a significant number of you that are in a place of overwhelm, stress or feeling weighed down. This is where I want to have the vulnerable, honest conversation in this issue of the newsletter.
This does not feel like a blip in the proverbial course of a school year. It feels like the expectation train has arrived, there is mandatory attendance, and it is hurtling down the track at breakneck speed. What seems to have been forgotten is that the pandemic is not over, nor will the after effects of this health crisis disappear for some time. Now, I do not want to spend this issue dwelling on all the things that are weighing us down in order to add to the sense of loss for educators. I do, though, want to acknowledge those aspects and then hopefully offer some ways that we as a group of like-minded people can move through this year without losing ourselves completely.
This issue is a focus on us, the educators, in this very important time in education in this province.
So here it goes…
- I know what to expect, I feel ready, it can’t be as hard as last year was.
- Okay it might be hard, but I got this.
So, I am going to pause for a moment here and I want you to think about how your year started and where you are at now. Some may say I have found great ways to manage, step back and work through the year at a pace that works for me. This is great news. I have a feeling though that there are a significant number of you that are in a place of overwhelm, stress or feeling weighed down. This is where I want to have the vulnerable, honest conversation in this issue of the newsletter.
This does not feel like a blip in the proverbial course of a school year. It feels like the expectation train has arrived, there is mandatory attendance, and it is hurtling down the track at breakneck speed. What seems to have been forgotten is that the pandemic is not over, nor will the after effects of this health crisis disappear for some time. Now, I do not want to spend this issue dwelling on all the things that are weighing us down in order to add to the sense of loss for educators. I do, though, want to acknowledge those aspects and then hopefully offer some ways that we as a group of like-minded people can move through this year without losing ourselves completely.
This issue is a focus on us, the educators, in this very important time in education in this province.
So here it goes…
The Power in the Words, the Commitment in the Action
So, it is often said that words are powerful in the moment, but actions last a lifetime. That is no truer a statement than right now. We all know how to talk about situations, discuss strategies, sign up for a million responsibilities and take on the world in the name of our students. How often do you say to yourself “Well if I just get this done, finish this, get this out of the way, it will all be better”. Check, Check Check off the list. I am here to tell you that this all too often is my mantra, and it creates a level of nothing is ever complete, a level of self -defeating energy that is exhausting and draining. That inner monologue is the place that we often as educators beat ourselves up with. Did I do enough for that child yesterday, today, or even this year? I forgot to connect with XYZ. I didn’t answer that e-mail immediately. I need to complete all these things (and then we stay up until all hours of the evening cutting things out, creating items etc.), or waking up all hours of the evening, and leaving nothing in the tank for ourselves.
This year the expectations are enormous from within our school divisions, from parents as well as the province. There is a sense that we as professionals need to “fix” the loss that has been created from the pandemic. Completing testing throughout the province for literacy, numeracy and developmental goals in short spans of time. Being part of numerous committees, meeting after meeting after meeting. As caregivers we have this sense of duty to rise up and meet this demand for the sake of the kids, and so we do it at a cost that sacrifices ourselves at a staggering rate. What has been forgotten though is that it is not just about the kids. It is about us and how we are coping with the sense of loss (grief) that we have experienced overall. The loss of what we once knew as the education system. The loss of time and in some cases the loss of who we thought we were as educators.
This year the expectations are enormous from within our school divisions, from parents as well as the province. There is a sense that we as professionals need to “fix” the loss that has been created from the pandemic. Completing testing throughout the province for literacy, numeracy and developmental goals in short spans of time. Being part of numerous committees, meeting after meeting after meeting. As caregivers we have this sense of duty to rise up and meet this demand for the sake of the kids, and so we do it at a cost that sacrifices ourselves at a staggering rate. What has been forgotten though is that it is not just about the kids. It is about us and how we are coping with the sense of loss (grief) that we have experienced overall. The loss of what we once knew as the education system. The loss of time and in some cases the loss of who we thought we were as educators.
Ways that we can start to make small changesLet’s just have a brief look at some of the major factors that have occurred here in the last three school years.
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This is merely a small fraction of some of the areas that I am sure that many of you have experienced. So, in looking at that list how many of you immediately felt the weight of that? This is HEAVY for anyone to carry, and the problem has become- we are trying to do it alone.
We could spend days analyzing all the negative aspects of things and diving into a state of depression and heartache that is all consuming. It truly is hard not to be wrapped up in all of this. What I want us to honestly do is acknowledge that this has been nothing short of gross feeling, heartbreaking and all consuming (you can feel free to insert your own words here). Let's, however, take a deep dive into some possible ways that as a collective we can support ourselves and our profession as a whole. Let’s give ourselves some grace. |
You are not Superhuman, and that's Okay. So, unless you have just suddenly become part of the cast of a new DC or Marvel Superheroes movie (and if so good on you) you can not do it all. As our good friend Dr. Jody Carrington reminds us of this regularly, “you are not meant to do this alone”. So surround yourself with people that will be in your corner, lift you up and support you on your journey. Sadly, if you don’t feel that you have those people around you it is time to take some actionable steps to remove yourself from the toxicity and find a new circle of winners to sit with. Intentionally find people that will fill your cup when you are running low and that you can do the same for when they need it.
We also need to in the words of Dr. Dan Siegel “name it to tame it”. So quite literally, when things are on a downward slide acknowledge, tell someone, and take actionable steps for your well-being. This one can be hard because it means taking action. As educators sometimes we are not good at doing this for ourselves. This also can mean setting healthy boundaries by truly knowing when to say “no”. I know I struggle with this on the regular, but I also know deeply that when I don’t the only one that suffers is me. It’s okay to say, “ I don’t think I can take this on right now”. Or in some cases saying, “In order to meet this obligation I am going to need some help because I am struggling”. It can be surprising sometimes to us all that the barrier to a situation sometimes has actually been created by ourselves because we just thought we had to do it all on our own. Another area we often forget is that asking for help might go beyond our professional obligations. We might need to seek professional help for our own well-being. This can be hard as often we feel that accepting that we need support brings about a sense of shame or guilt. Realizing that this is one of the healthiest things to acknowledge and reach out for is tough. Connecting with a medical professional or support group could be the very thing that is needed at this moment. We are often a pretty good judge of how our own bodies are feeling. Many times as caregivers we are not very good at the action part. Being able to recognize when the coping mechanisms are unhealthy, not working or creating more anxiety or depressive thoughts is important to you being okay. Again Dr. Jody Carrington says it best “when the adults are not okay the kids won’t be either”. Putting the oxygen mask on yourself first is key-knowing when to step away or seek support is crucial. |
So here is where I tell you the reality. I realized a couple of months into this school year that the overwhelm was creeping up faster then I had anticipated, but I ignored it. I follow daily mindful practice, engage in it with my students daily and felt I had a pretty good read on how to manage things. I would figure it out “just find better ways to manage”, I kept saying to myself. As the weeks crept on, I found myself Increasingly tired- like the kind where you go to bed early, and you get up and you feel like you never slept. Getting out of bed in the morning seemed like a chore. I need you to know that I am a morning person by nature, so this seemed like a pretty substantial change. I started meditating twice a day, diving into work to just get things done and consumed myself with other things. My eating habits became full of picking something up at the end of the day as making meals seemed like too much effort. Going to exercise for classes that I had paid for was non-existent. I finally had a moment of realization when I went to make something from my fridge and realized that I had not bought groceries in a month. Then working 12-13 hour days at work (my doing) and the list goes on. Anyone see the pattern here? It then hit me that it was time to get some help as my coping methods were definitely not working. In reaching out I learned something- asking for what we need does not mean you failed.
So, seek professional help if required because no one could have anticipated the last few years and no one needs to do this alone. 
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On a Lighter Note
Alright as I said earlier this issue is not to dwell on all the doom and gloom it is to sincerely develop some possible ways to help support ourselves or even each other. This next area of the newsletter is meant to hopefully inspire, reach out or provide some ideas that can help to work through feelings of overwhelm. I want to state however that this is not just going to be about the self-care of taking a bubble bath or having a spa day. Although we all love these moments to ourselves this is going to be more about some deep conversations, resources, and possible strategies in coping with this continuation of a need for self-love.
Self Care vs. Self Love |
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I am a lover of all things that provide joy and love and how that makes us feel as a person. Being in nature, creating beautiful things, and having a pedicure are all needed as an act of self-care. What I want to challenge us to think about is what are you doing to push these things into a space of self- love?
So let’s have a look at the differences between this terminology. Self- care “includes all the things you do to take care of your well-being in four key dimensions – your emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual health. Self-care involves focusing on yourself and taking time to rest, reflect, replenish, and renew”. (Google Search) The definition of self- love however “refers to the act of valuing one's own happiness and well-being. It might also be considered a willingness to meet personal needs, allow non-judgmental thinking, and view the self as essentially worthy, good, valuable, and deserving of happiness (Google Search). So Yes, do all the things that make you joyous in spirit and fill up your cup- but then also find ways to take a deeper look at your own worthiness and embrace the wonderful things that make you- you. I have found some great resources over the years and some more recent ones, as of late, that do just that. They work through the ways to bring you inspiration, work through the tough stuff and acknowledge each of us in a way that allows us all to rise. 
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First let’s take a deeper look at some little things that we can do as educators to set the ball rolling:
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One of the best quotes I heard was in the middle of the pandemic and is now on a post-it on my mirror. It is from Canadian Meditation expert and wellness coach Sarah Blondin it says “was this moment made better because it passed through me”. Take that moment to ask yourself, did you pause to notice that wonderful thing that happened? How did you take up space in your world today?
In saying all of this, I know it is a process- that I too am working through. Every small step though hard to start leads to a level of self-worth that will create a ripple effect over time. So what I am saying is START no matter how small or insignificant you might feel it is in the moment it will GROW as you GROW.
In saying all of this, I know it is a process- that I too am working through. Every small step though hard to start leads to a level of self-worth that will create a ripple effect over time. So what I am saying is START no matter how small or insignificant you might feel it is in the moment it will GROW as you GROW.
Knowing you are Loved
So I am going to bring this all together full circle. You were brought into this world as someone who is loved and cherished for who you are. You chose a profession who then in turn gives that away to others. At times we forget that those families, students, and colleagues love us for us. They may not say it as often, but they show it in different ways. That smile, hug, or item handed to you from a small little hand is their way of returning the favour. That parent that works with you to support their child who is struggling. The colleague that just listens or even sends a note or coffee one day. These are all ways to validate you and build on that worthiness. Lastly though your own family who may sacrifice their time with you because you give it away to others still love you for who you are and that is WORTH IT ALL.
As a fellow early childhood educator please know that I get it, I am there with you in the muck. I am also there to tell each, and everyone of you that you are amazing, wonderful, and loved as our collective whole, and we couldn’t do all of this without you. I truly do hope that in some small way this issue touches you and empowers you to move through this year in a way that works for you.
As a fellow early childhood educator please know that I get it, I am there with you in the muck. I am also there to tell each, and everyone of you that you are amazing, wonderful, and loved as our collective whole, and we couldn’t do all of this without you. I truly do hope that in some small way this issue touches you and empowers you to move through this year in a way that works for you.
Resources to Fill your Mind, Open your Heart,
and Build on your Self-Love Journey
Emily and Amelia Nagoski- fantastic book, get ready to do a deep dive into yourself.
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Patricia A. Jennings-well known wellness author and all books and research around mental health is truly life changing.
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Dr. Joy Carrington and Laurie Macintosh- from this amazing Alberta duo of Psychologist and Educator comes the most amazing read. This one once you pick it up you will not want to put it down.
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Carly Crewe- Canadian author and Physician whose book is a best seller and who comes highly recommended by Dr. Jody Carrington.
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Marc Brackett- Director for the Center for Emotional Intelligence at Yale. This book is highly recommended and referred to in the SEL world. His RULER method is well known and even checking out his website is well worth it at the very least.
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Daniel J. Siegel- world renowned doctor and wellness expert with numerous books that would support anyone on a journey to self-love.
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Thich Nhat Hanh and Katherine Weare- in this joint venture that bridges teaching students mindful practice it is just as much about the educator in the process. I have used this book so much the flags are wearing out.
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Kristen Neff- author and founder of the Self Compassion Program has numerous books that develop concrete strategies of how to work through emotions and self-worth.
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Kristen Neff- author and founder of the Self Compassion Program has numerous books that develop concrete strategies of how to work through emotions and self-worth.
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Jon Kabat-Zinn- MBSR founder and Mindfulness Expert. So many resources to pick from that would be worth reading.
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Jon Kabat-Zinn- MBSR founder and Mindfulness Expert. So many resources to pick from that would be worth reading.
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Mark Williams and Danny Penman- structured 8-week program to self worth and creating in the present moment foundations.
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Gabby Bernstein- bestselling author and life-coach with numerous books, cards, and articles as well as first being discovered by Oprah herself. Any of her books are an amazing journey through self- discovery.
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Brene Brown- bestselling author, researcher, and professor, Netflix special, podcasts and the list goes on. If you have not read or heard her speak you need to do so now. Go, seriously run!
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Jay Shetty- Author, Meditation Teacher, and former Monk whose videos, podcasts and work is an all-encompassing journey to self-love
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Jessica Janzen- this most amazing Calgarian philanthropist and change maker will inspire you with her journey after the loss of her son Lewiston. She is the founder of the Love for Lewiston Foundation and has done amazing things for the Alberta Children’s Hospital and the SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) community. Well worth the read.
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People to Follow |
Podcasts to Listen to |
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@drjodycarrington ( psychologist, laughter specialist, conversationalist, and inspiration)
@lisabaylis (self compassion and love for educators) @carlycrewe (momma, doctor, author and women’s health expert) @coach.carey (inspirational life coach) @intrnl.waves (Coach Carey’s mindful practice Instagram site) @mypositiveoutlooks (daily quotes and inspiration) @brenebrown (official Instagram for Brene Brown) @powerofpositivity (daily inspiration) @tinybuddhaoffical (daily inspiration) @gabbybernstein (official Instagram for Gabby Bernstein) @thebirdspapaya (Canadian influencer and body positivity activist) @jayshetty (former monk, meditation expert and wellness guru) @oprah (do I really need to say anything here?) @thejessicajanzen (life coach, author, momma, Philanthropist and Calgarian) @mrdtimes3 (teacher and comedian that will get you laughing daily |
**When you are going to check these out make sure to read the descriptions as at times they may not be suitable for all situations.
Brene Brown- Dare to Lead and Unlocking Us Joe Dombroski (Mrdtimes3)- The Social Studies Podcast Sarah Nicole Landry (The Bird’s Papaya)- The Papaya Podcast Gabby Bernstein- Dear Gabby Hope and Wade King- Get Your Teach On Podcast Dr. Gabor Mate- So many podcasts he has taken part in-if you search his name there are many to choose from. Jay Shetty- On Purpose Oprah Winfrey-Super Soul |